Life is a funny thing, something that we start cause we love it so much can turn into something we despise in the blink of an eye if we don’t nurture the process properly.
When I started doing CrossFit in 2012 it was a renewal in energy for me. I had just retired from fighting after taking a bad concussion for the 5th time in my life getting ready for the K1 Kickboxing Nationals that year. I had a bad sparring session got caught with an overhand right that had my world spinning for months afterward.
I knew I was done with it and lost motivation to train or compete, then one of my friends showed me a video of guys competing in exercising, which at first sounded like a stupid idea, I only did those movements to be good at hurting people not to put the hurt on myself but I was intrigued with the idea of competing without someone else trying to knock my head off.
I went to CrossFit met Rach fell in love twice and put a ton of time and energy into this new sport of fitness. I enjoyed the transformation of strength, the challenge of learning new skills, the energy it gave me in day to day life and the renewed motivation I had to compete.
I did that for years and then got a couple annoying overuse injuries and started to just grind no matter the cost. I spent most of my life training, it kept me feeling alive but my whole world and identity became wrapped up in now being a great CrossFitter. That’s where things took a toll for the worse.
I was obsessed with being stronger, quicker, better and it controlled my thoughts. When I had a bad day in training I had a worse day in real life, like real depression feelings and when I PRd I was on cloud nine for minutes after… tell I thought about the next weight I wanted to hit.
It was not healthy physically or mentally during that time, something I enjoyed the process of became something where I was only happy when I PR’d a weight, my worth as a human being became wrapped up in my times and weights and not how much I did for other people in my life. It’s a selfish and lonely existence.
I no longer identify myself as a crossfitter nor do I believe that Crossfit was my problem, my problem was losing sight of who I really was and what was really important, its better I choose crossfit to figure that out then the cocaine my friends were doing to try and find themselves.
BUT! I learned and I grew and I share this to help others who might have the same struggle. I do not judge you based on how much you can lift, or by how fast your times are but by the effort you put in on a daily basis to better yourself and the people around you, that is time well spent.
Remember why you are doing what you’re doing, enjoy the process of it and the things you learn between attempts and most importantly have fun and enjoy the people around you doing it.
Don’t get wrapped up in this idea that I’M a CrossFitter or a Weightlifter or a Fighter or whatever cause those things will eventually let you down. Life is so much Bigger and Better than just that but take pride in the people you help and motivate on a daily basis.
Just my thought on a cold Monday Morning, have an amazing Day! 🙂